Why we run away from our Power
My aunt is a victim. I´ll tell you her story.
Oh, no. This is a terrible beginning. Let me restart.
According to my observation, people can be divided into two categories: the Victims and the Thrivers.
I´m not judging; just stating facts.
First, we have the Victims - often considered nice and deserving of people´s sympathy.
The victims tend to be, surprisingly or not, a bit narcissistic.They presume the world revolves around them, destiny is conspiring against them - ´cause they´re important enough for destiny to care -, and they´re owed a soft, easy, painless ride.
They´re also the Couch Dreamers - folks who love to speak about what they could do if they were, had, knew (fill the blank with your excuse of choice) -; and the Critics.
Instead of focusing on who they are and what they have, they focus on whom they´re not and what they don´t have. That way, they´re off the hook; they have valid reasons to stay exactly where they are, even if where they are is not a good place to be.
Then, we have the Thrivers - rarer and often considered cocky and annoying.
They don´t presume the world revolves around them. Therefore, they deal with failure and pain the same way they deal with victory and happiness. It´s all a part of our human experience and they know it.
Instead of lying on the couch and daydreaming, they get up and make stuff happen. They fall, make mistakes, learn lessons, and move forward.
They may not be or have everything but they use what they are and have to create whatever is in their hearts. Instead of using their valid excuses, justifying why they can´t do it, they hold on to their potential, inner and outer resources.
Now, we may ask: why are there many more Victims than Thrivers?
Because being a Victim is easier than being a Thriver.
It´s more comfortable, safer, and it gathers sympathy from others.
Humans tend to run away from their power - the power they have over themselves - because it´s easier to do so. It seems that we´re made for comfort and safety and most of us will never contradict nature.
If we´re empowered - in our power -, we´re responsible for making our stuff happen and that requires effort, work, risk, and often, sacrifices.
- Nah! It´s easier to lament - why me? poor me - and bitch about other people.
Whenever I train dancers, particularly in my Private Coaching Programs, I ask them to gather their inner and outer resources. The tools they carry within and the tools life circumstances have provided.
- Examples of Inner Resources:
Intelligence
Persistence
Focus
Creativity
Independence
Health
- Examples of Outer Resources:
Help from family or a partner
Family money
A safe and supportive group of friends
Physical conditions to do whatever they wish to do
Time
Endorsements
Support from an institution, or institutions
You´d be surprised to see how difficult it is for most dancers I coach to name their resources. We tend to focus on whom we´re not and what we don´t have because that throws us directly into Victimland, a place of stale & delicious comfort.
- I don´t have time for it.
-I´m not creative enough for it.
- I don´t have people helping me, so...
-I don´t have enough money for it.
-I come from an underprivileged background and that´s why I never...
The list goes on and on.
We hold on to these excuses like a sinking person to a buoy. We hold on tight, so tight those excuses become the story of our life. And instead of creating the dance and life of our dreams, we accept (self)defeat and we cry about the reality we wish we were experiencing.
We´re terrified of our Power because using our Power isn´t easy.
I spent almost 2 years working my a#"$% off and saving every penny - no vacation, no clothes, no dining out; nothing - so I had enough money to move to Cairo and launch my international career.
I had no financial support from my parents or a partner, and I lived exclusively from my dance. Cairo was new, savage, and unpredictable. I arrived alone, without a contract, and no idea when I´d get one. Meanwhile, real life happened. There were bills to pay and I was the only one taking care of them. So, instead of relying on my excuses - I had plenty of those -, I relied on my resources.
📌The Victim in me knew that...
I came from a lower-class family who couldn´t support my dreams, financially.
I´d have a poor academic education in a poor social environment (drugs and violence were involved).
I had no contacts, friends, or a manager who could help me in Egypt.
I was a beginner-level oriental dancer; with a rough, half-broken English, and no knowledge of Arabic; also, no notion of what living and working in Egypt meant.
📌Yet, the Thriver in me knew that....
I was a talented dancer.
I had a unique take on the music and the movement.
I was a hard worker who could save, sacrifice, and organize myself.
I´d had a mother who taught me I was capable of doing everything, and anything, if I put my mind and work into it.
I was creative, resilient, persistent, and brave.
I was a fast learner.
Adventure ran in my veins.
Instead of staying where I was, in the cocoon of my known universe, I took a bet on myself and my dreams.
We´re terrified of our power because we´re terrified of the Unknown. Of failure and success. Of taking a risk and making a fool out of ourselves.
We´re terrified of our power because we´re afraid of Life and all the possibilities it offers.
There´s something called free will - you decide how you want to go about your life - but I have an invitation for you:
DROP THE EXCUSES & GO FOR IT.
(you got this)
👉To watch episode #16 of "The Oriental Café" Podcast about "Rules of Self-Empowerment I learned from Egyptian Dance", click here
👉To listen to episode #16 of "The Oriental Café" Podcast about "Rules of Self-Empowerment I learned from Egyptian Dance", click here
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