The art of Control and Surrender in Egyptian Dance
In Egyptian Dance, as in Life, the goal is perhaps - and I use the word "perhaps" because, by now, I´ve lost all my certainties - to get as close as possible to balance.
The balance between doing and not doing - action and stillness.
The balance between emotion and intellect - feeling and thinking.
The balance between sharpness and softness - being assertive and organic.
The balance between harmony and chaos - an educated body in a free soul.
The balance between ambition and love for the dance - thriving to evolve as a dance while loving every bit of it.
And the balance between Control and Surrender - knowing when to use your input and power and when to let go and let things fall where they may.
One word: balance. We may never reach it - still, it´s worth striving for it.
In more than 20 years of career, having taught and observed thousands of dancers from every corner of the globe, I can tell you this:
I´ve never met a single dancer who mastered the balance between Control and Surrender and that made me wonder: why?
The Sherlock Holmes in me demanded to find the answer.
Why is it so hard to get close to that sweet spot where we´re able to use our power - physical and energetic - where that power is necessary and, simultaneously, release all control when things aren´t meant to be shaped by our hands?
Control is - usually - the easy part. We´re naturally good at it and our environment trains us for it - we control our bodies, schedules, responsibilities, houses, even our relationships. And although a part of that Control is necessary - if I don´t control my schedule, my work becomes chaotic; if I don´t control the amount of sugar I consume, my health suffers -, it has to be seasoned with Surrender. And that´s where the difficulty starts for most of us.
Surrender - not controlling, not predicting, plotting, forcing things to be what we want them to be. Letting go and allowing things to flow as they will - happy to be taken by the tide and surprised.
I asked myself why we´re so terrified of Surrender and, faithful to personal tradition, I didn´t rest until I found the answer.
Why are we so afraid of losing control - in dance, as in life?
👉First, we´re wired for survival. That means we need to control our environment/context to spot potential life threats.
That was more obvious in times when we lived in cages. The cavemen had reasons to feel more afraid than we do.
Today, we´re "protected" by buildings, vehicles, clothes, security - real or imaginary - and an overall supposedly civilized society that condemns theft and murder. We may feel safer than our brother caveman. But we don´t feel safe - we´re still, and always, animals in the wild.
Knowingly or not, we´re looking over our shoulder, waiting for a - literal or metaphorical - wild animal to strike. That wild animal can be an unexpected bill, concerns over our children, the loss of a job, wars - private and collective -, the betrayal of a friend, a bad review.
There are lions in our backyard and we may not see them but we feel the scent of their skin; and that´s enough to trigger the survival mechanism of control.
When times get harder, dehumanized, chaotic, and unpredictable, that old survival mechanism is called back into the game with an increased intensity: our body knows we´re at risk and it calls our self-protective mechanism of control back into our lives.
👉The second reason why it´s so hard to let go of control - in our dance, as in our life - has to do with our ego, and the society of performance/competition we live in.
Once again, these are unconscious processes we may not be aware of so, don´t beat yourself up if you´ve never thought about them.
Even when we´re not competing, we´re competing. That´s my point.
The neighbor envies the other neighbor - what they have or imagine they have.
A sister competes with another sister - she may want the success, the love, or the freedom her sister has.
A dancer thrives to be better than her/his teacher, colleagues, other dancers - even if that dancer has never entered an official competition.
An anonymous person who´s not content with her/his condition, will envy and hate a famous person.
We´re chronically envious in different degrees.
Unable to look within and rejoice in our bounty - therefore, unable to rejoice in the bounty of others.
We´re told - directly or indirectly - that life is a race and we must keep running (towards where, nobody knows) and come in the first place.
We buy into this race and, as a result, we´re unable to let go, surrender, flow with life, and enjoy our time on earth. Instead, we control, keeping pushing towards a cliff, and hate on ourselves for not reaching the Nº1 at the podium.
👉The third reason why most of us - dancers and non dancers - refuse to let go of control is the fear of what will happen if we do.
I once coached a dancer - talented, beautiful, and kind - who told me that, in all honesty, she couldn´t afford to lose control because if she did, she´d become a mess. Dishevelled. Chaotic. Unpleasant. Not a good sight for the eyes.
In other words, she, like most of us, was afraid of her natural, raw, wild self. What would that look like? Even worse: what would others think and say about us?
In terms of dance, there´s a fine balance we work for: education and exploration; training and creativity; polishment and freedom. Aesthetic beauty and inner beauty which comes from honesty, love, soulfulness. Hopefully, we meet in the middle between those dimensions.
While I performed in Egypt, I had the privilege to work with the best musicians - hand-picked, fiercely loved and in love. Allowing myself to let go, I often cried on stage. Not the cute, elegant cry you see in happy romantic movies but the ugly cry - smudged make-up, hair all over my blushed face, and a tender sense of nakedness in front of strange people.
Was it beautiful? Not if you think of beauty in strict - dull - terms.
It was Beautiful because it was real, raw, and freeing for the dancer, the musicians, and the audience.
(And on the matter, I recommend you watch these two videos:
Joana Saahirah´s Baladi Awadi improvisation in Cairo
and
Exposing the dark, unconscious, wild side of oneself requires courage, self-confidence, and heart. I know, for a fact, that you have that courage.
👉Last but not least, there´s the under-the-ground fear of touching the hand of God. Which, in my world, means you may reconnect with your soul, the essence that never dies.
It can look good on paper but, in reality, we´re terrified of touching Eternity´s skin.
We´re afraid of what we´ll learn, taste, smell.
It can wake us up, show us something we don´t want to see, shake things from the core to the point of no return.
- Will I become a lunatic? A religious person? Someone I don´t recognize?
We´re scared of the Unknown. For that reason, we choose to remain small, distant from what matters.
Is it an adventure, to allow oneself such freedom in a world of Control Freaks?
Yes, it is.
Is it scary?
Perhaps.
Is it worth it?
Like Mr. Big once - famously - said in the series "Sex and the City",
ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY.
If you wish to go deeper into these, and other, pillars of authentic Egyptian Dance, here´s what I suggest:
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